To Run or Not to Run

10 11 2008

My expected first half marathon was this weekend. I did not run it. There were so many reasons that I should NOT run it, I found it hard to find a reason WHY to run it other than it was a goal.

I have had feasts of glucose, protein and electrolytes. I double-knot. I lock the door behind me. I had to prove what I was made. Just keep adding mile after mile on my internal odometer. I ran 3 miles, 8 miles, 12 miles. Some days more, some days less. I rewarded a long run with a short run. And a short run with a long run. Rain tried to slow me. Sun tried to microwave me. The early frost made me feel like a warrior. I cramped. But I paid no mind to comfort. On weekends. On holidays. I made excuses to keep going. Questioned myself. Played mind games. Put my heart before my knees. Listened to my breathing. Worked on my tan. I hit the wall. I went through it.

( this was adapted from a nike quote I found very inspiring- good job nike!)


I did not run the 13.1 mile 1/2 marathon this weekend. I had been debating all week because I have been fighting off this cold, trying so hard for it not to get me down. I felt the pressure bricks laying on top of me, the yogurt presentation, on top goes the native american health presentation, then the metabolism exam… I had to drive three hours , then spend a few hundered on a hotel the night before, then pay $80 to wake up at 6 am and run. Then drive back three hours .

It just seemed like all of this extra effort that was NOT worth it at this point. I started training in July with the hopes of placing very high. Once I hurt my knee, everything changed. I wasn’t sure if I would even be able to run again.

After slowly rebuilding my distance, increasing my cross training, running 12.5 miles last week, I realized that I don’t need to drive 3 hours or spend $300 to finish in a 13 mile race. I ran my race, I ran 12.5 miles in under 2 hours- about an 8 minute mile pace for 12.5 miles! I knew I could have kept going.

My initial goal was to place in the top ten and I was training at 6:20 minute miles, 7:00 minute miles, longer runs were a mix of 7 to 8 minute miles. I was on my way of acheiving it until my knee injury.

I realized after a long week of reflection, anxiety, pain, stress, sniffles, breathing trouble that this was just all … silly!

I run whether I will “win” the race or just finish. I ran my race, and I acheived more than I could have hoped for. I already know that I can do it. That was my race, to find out if I actually can and would. I did.

This is where I start.
I start training again, a long-long-long training program to build back up to where I started. My knees won’t go before my heart. My schoolwork does not get put aside to run, and if I start getting sick, I will wait until I get better.

So I felt that although no one probably knew, I had to write out what happened and why and that I am confident this is not going to be the only race in my future. I will be running many more, probably skipping many along the way.

Sunday, I ran 3 miles with Jack-brown-dog nice and easy. We stopped to smell nearly everything and when we came home I realized how AMAZING our crepe myrtle trees look in our front yard. I will take a picture today but I only hope they haven’t quickly faded their gorgeous colors.

I made pumpkin pie breakfast for one again and I have a long week of studies ahead of me!!

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4 responses

10 11 2008
VeggieGirl

No worries!!! Still sounds like you made the right decision.

Happy Monday!!!!! 🙂

11 11 2008
HangryPants

I am sure you made the best decision for you. There will always be another race!

11 11 2008
Elina

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us! You choosing not to run is actually inspirational believe it or not. We keep pushing ourselves sometimes for no reason. It’s nice to see a healthy thought process and outcome.

I don’t know if I’ve posted before, but I really love your blog! I love the mind and soul sections… different and cool!

12 11 2008
B_Hlthy

Thanks ladies! I appreciate your support and i feel like it was the best decision, despite not running at the goal location.

and..
Hi Elina! I am so happy you posted a comment AND that you enjoy my blog!

While I still want to change around my blog, I find that writing out something for each section makes me FEEL more balanced!

Hope you come back soon!

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